Let’s talk about shape baby…

Welcome back. Last time it was all about the hair style.

Generally all is good with my barnet. I don’t miss looking at my long hair at all. But I do miss the versatility of long hair. I’ll give you an example. The other morning I woke with a swear word of a headache. It was the type of headache that makes you feel sick and makes you want to drill a hole in your head to relieve the pressure. In the absence of a drill, and thankfully in the presence of sensibility, I opted for some Anadin Extra instead (other headache remedies are available).

My point is, when I had long hair, I would have put it into a ponytail and only washed the fringe (yes, you can do that), or washed all of it and let it dry into its naturally curly state. But as my ponytail is now more hamster tail and I hadn’t road-tested the curly bob look, neither of these were options – especially as I had to make a good first impression at work that morning. So I had to go for the whole shebang. And as the pills hadn’t shifted the headache at all, it was agonising having to nurture and tame my hair into a sleek, neat bob. Note to self – must do curly bob trial run before the next bad head day.

Putting the hair to one side for now (not sure that would look very good either actually), I’ve ventured into the Body Shapes section of my Study in Style Personal Stylist course. It’s funny, but I enjoyed the colours section of the course so much that I didn’t want to move on. I liken it to finishing a really good book and needing some time to mourn the characters and storyline before starting a new novel.

 

I needn’t have worried. The Body Shape sections are crammed full of new and exciting characters with tales of the pear shape, apple shape, inverted triangle, hourglass, short waist, long waist, high rise, low rise…truly a twisting and turning plot that’s hard to put down.

So, today I give a simple lesson on shape and call upon the ubiquitous bodycon dress to help me illustrate it.

It’s worn by the young things, the older things and the somewhere in-between things. The length of the dress worn by the younger things is usually a good 8 inches shorter and teamed with heels of equal measure that make them walk like new-born deer.

I currently have a tube type bodycon dress hanging in my wardrobe. In the shop changing room I remember twisting, turning and gurning into the tube of fabric and looking in the mirror afterwards. Trying hard to see beyond the static shock of hair that I had just created trying to get the sodding dress on, I was, I have to say, quite disappointed with my reflection. But why? My maths isn’t great but I was pretty sure that one size 8 body + one bodycon dress = positive result.

Not impressed....

 

So, in the ‘privacy’ of my own (partially) curtained cubicle (those damn, curtains never go to the edges do they?) I was on a mission to make this bodycon dress work for my not so perfect, but not so shabby either, body. What must have appeared to the (passive) voyeur outside my cubicle as several rounds of the Macarena, I eventually stumbled, luckily not literally, upon the correct formula. It’s this: feet together, right foot on tiptoe, right knee coyly tilted across the left knee, right hip out to form a curve at the waist, shoulders back, AA cup bra (boobs not included) skywards, hands on hips, one sultry pout for good measure and BOOM! I had proved the sum right and the mirror wrong. I looked siren-tastic!

Yes, it may look effortless, but it's quite an uncomfortable pose actually

 

Now, this approach is fine if your only purpose is to stand on the red carpet and pose for the camera (mmm, think my invite got lost in the post). But if you’re at work or out on a date, trying to sustain this position for silhouettes’ sake on the way to the filing cabinet or loo is pretty much impossible and is likely to see you sent home from both these scenarios looking and feeling more silly than siren. 

So what’s the correct sum? My shape + one bodycon dress = the Family Fortunes ‘eh- uh’ noise. Basically, I’m not blessed with a waist and a good (any) bosom. I need to go with dresses that have clever patterning or gathering that fool the eye into thinking that I have curves where I don’t – a simple tube of fabric is never going to work. Also, something I can see quite clearly now, is that the bodycon dress is way too long for me. What was I thinking? A length somewhere between ‘Bambi’ and ‘old deer’ is far more flattering.

The following three pictures are of my favourite dress. Though I appreciate that it’s not going to miraculously give me Scarlett Johansson curves, it does make me feel so much more confident. I like the draping at the top as it makes my bust look fuller and the similar ruching further down adds more of a curve to my hips. Another bonus, because of the gathering around the tummy, it doesn’t matter if I’m having a sticky-out belly day!

 

 

 

I will now conclude today’s lesson with one important rule when trying on any garment:

·         Just stand normally and avoid any silly poses

…well at least until that ‘red carpet invite’ actually does pop through your door. And when that happens, I think you’ll find that it was intended for me - so hand it over my pretty!

 Class dismissed.

Next time I'll be talking about jeans and will be, plans permitting, unveiling my new Styled by Mel logo - I'm excited! And because quite a few of you have hinted that you want to receive posts more frequently than once a month (thank you, that's very encouraging), I'm aiming to grace your inbox or timeline with my presence every two weeks. Careful what you wish for!

 

Hair today....

Last time, in diary entry 2, I had been diagnosed as a 'Winter' and demonstrated how the humble scarf can save the day, well, a jacket at least!

Now, casually, and not as part of the colour analysis session, Gail (my rather fabulous tutor at Study in Style), mentioned that the length of my hair was the wrong scale for my face. From the light browsing I’d done of the body shape, size and scale part of the course, I was aware that we should wear clothes and accessories that flatter the scale of our body. I.e. a shorter person, with a small frame, should avoid oversized bags and patterns. But I had not really appreciated that the scale rule applies to hairstyles too. Well yes, tis true. So, in layman’s terms, you could say that my hair is a size 14 on a size 8 face and is overwhelming for my small features.

Some of you will know already that I’ve been growing my hair for one hundred years and it’s now ‘long’. It’s not that wishy-washy in-between stage where you have to tilt your head right back to only just about feel it brush your shoulder blades. No, my hair is officially long.

So, what to do? The humble scarf is clearly not going to save the day here.

On a high from my colour consultation with Gail, on the 13^th November 2013 (too many 13’s in there for my liking) I would have, without any hesitation, walked out of Gail’s house and straight into a salon and gone for the chop – that’s how confident I was of Gail’s advice. Also, having had a bob many years ago, loved it and been told that it suited me, I was excited about going ‘back in time’. So I called the hairdresser that used to cut my bob (the best bob cutter in the South I’ll have you know!) and asked for an appointment as soon as possible. Soon as possible turned out to be 20^th January 2014. Jeez. That’s a long wait. But I trust her and if I’m going for the chop it needs to be a good one.

As I type with my long hair clipped out of the way, I am aware that by the time you lovely people read this, I will more than likely be sporting a bob. But I’m getting cold feet.

I had a dream last night that I was getting my hair cut to size and the hairdresser had to stop because I was about to give birth! (Note to readers, I am not pregnant nor planning on being so any time soon – though I have to admit that the thought of another baby got my ovaries clanging a good ‘un!). Anyway, the point was, I knew I could cope fine with an unexpected arrival far better than I could a shorter (half-finished) haircut. Are you a psychologist? Please stay on the line, we need to talk.

So why did I grow my hair long in the first place? Well, I wanted a ponytail. Yes I’m aware I sound 14 rather than 41 but I just love the way a ponytail swings from side to side when you walk. To me they look youthful and happy. I’m afraid my reasons don’t go any deeper than that.  

But you know, I remember vividly the day my mum asked me “How long are you growing your hair exactly?” Yes, not the most encouraging of questions is it? And to be honest, the majority of comments these days regarding my hair are “gosh your hair has got long”. Rarely, do I hear, “your hair looks great”. So, maybe I should take this as a sign that it’s time for a change.

But there is one person that really does like my long hair - and that’s my other half, Mr.B. Now, I know we should dress for ourselves and not to please other people necessarily – but we all, surely, prefer our partners to like the way we look don’t we? Will he find me less attractive, less feminine without my long hair?

These questions remind me of the time, some 13 years ago (there’s that 13 again!) that I got my ears pinned back. Long story short (ha), I got very tired of people asking me where Noddy was and telling me to wear a hat in a high wind for fear of take-off. So I went to my GP, who advised me that this operation, due to the severity of the sticky outy-ness of my wing nuts, was available on the NHS. Result!

I was put on the waiting list and after a one and a half year wait, I went under the knife. For anyone even half contemplating this operation – it’s not to be taken lightly. It was the most painful and long recovery ever, which involved having to wear a tennis headband at night for 6 months. Yes, quite an image huh? Though more Rab C. Nesbitt than Annabel Croft that’s for sure.  Anyway, to celebrate my new, post-op, streamlined head, I had my hair cut short.  Audrey Hepburn Roman Holiday short.  This was quite a shock to my then boyfriend and I knew he was never that keen on my new elfin crop – though maybe it was the ears he missed?

Anyway, on the basis that you can’t please everyone all of the time, I went for the chop! Here's my bob. I know, I know, it's a long bob (lob) but I wasn't brave enough to go for the fully-fledged shob (short bob)! It took many deep breaths and a glass of wine in the salon chair to get this far, so I think I've been fairly brave actually.

 

 

Now, I bet you're wondering if Mr.B likes my new bob? I'm not sure he does, but I do, and so I repeat, you can't please everyone all of the time!

 

In the deep mid-Winter...

Last time, I was waxing lyrical about my colour analysis training and the advantages of colour analysis. So, it was only right (and definitely expected of a trainee style advisor) that I too had my colours done. Wouldn’t be right to greet a client looking like I’d got dressed in the dark now would it?

I did try to colour analyse myself but it was tricky. Not so much the physical flipping of the drapes but the ability to be truly objective about oneself. We’re all quite good at looking in the mirror and screwing our face up because we don’t like what we see - so it’s mighty difficult to take a step back and look long enough to appreciate what the right colours are magically doing.

 

Luckily, Gail came to my rescue and I was able to 'model' for one of her other students. It was great to be on the other end of the process and to witness first-hand the experience from the ‘client’ perspective. If you work every day and/or do the morning and afternoon school run, with weekends being a blur of food shopping, housework & homework then just being told to sit down, let alone have your colours done, is, quite frankly, a luxury in itself!

 

I’ll cut to the chase - I’m a Winter. So, armed with my valuable ‘fan of Winter colour swatches’, I inadvertently adopted the stance of Inspector Clouseau with his magnifying glass and dived into my wardrobe. On close inspection, I discovered that my general day to day outfits were actually ok for the Winter palette. In fact if you were to sneak a peek into my wardrobe you’d think that you were viewing it on a black and white TV.  So, yes, note to self - I could definitely benefit from injecting my monochrome choices with some of the bright and vivid colours that the Winter swatch has to offer.

There was however, one major casualty of my new season prescription. This was my Whistles £300 brown (i.e. AUTUMN!) leather, biker jacket. It looks great with my brown leather boots. It’s so easy to throw on with any pair of jeans and top and ‘et voila’ - I am ready to rock, roll or just pop to the garage for some milk! And having paid for the jacket with a rather long haul of overtime pay, not only was it a very significant purchase for me, it’s also my fall-back (no pun intended) if everything else fails. In short, I love this jacket and this jacket loves me and I will not be seasonist! Help needed.

Calm down dear. Luckily there are ways, in extreme cases like these, when certain items can be rescued from season suicide. Please welcome on stage….the SCARF! As long as I strategically place a ‘Winter’ scarf between the offending ‘Autumn’ jacket and my ‘Winter’ face, then jacket and me, can continue our beautiful relationship. Yay, happiness ensues.

                                                               

So where were we? Clothes crisis averted - check. Make-up needs amending slightly - check. Ah yes, hair. It appears that my long locks (which I’ve been growing for one hundred years now) are also in the Autumn camp. The colour is too golden for my Winter skin and eyes and needs to be changed. I’ve been dying my hair since I was in my late teens. Back then it was for fun, just to add a little bit of oomph. But now I dye it because, well, if I didn’t, I think it would be totally grey.  No offence to those who carry grey hair amazingly well (Judi Dench and Helen Mirren, you are truly beautiful women) – it’s just I’m not quite ready to embrace the silver yet.

So I need to find a shade that brings me back to my Winter roots. To those who have their hairdresser mix the colour for them (I personally can’t afford that luxury every 4-6 weeks) or do not need to dye their hair at all (you don’t know how lucky you are) let me enlighten you into the world of shop-bought hair dye.

The colours read like a Starbucks drinks menu crossed with a Milk Tray selection box: Iced Latte, Chocolate Fudge, Chocolate Caramel,  Iced Chocolate,  Mocha Mucho, Rich Espresso and so on. One of those hair colours I just made up and I bet you can’t tell which one it is? And I also bet you can’t tell me if any of those colours listed would be the medium ash brown I’m looking for? So you see - quite a minefield. Lastly, nowhere on any of these gorgeous glossy boxes does it carry the warning that applying the wrong shade makes you look nothing short of Davina McCall’s ugly sister dressed for Halloween!

Luckily I found a ‘Nice n Easy’ shade that did the trick (or should I say treat!), and though I kind of miss my golden lights, the new shade does look better against my skin and clothes.

Cue slow motion hair-flick…

…and all because the lady is worth it!

Colour Me...what the?!

A Personal Stylist. Eureka! That was the moment I realised what I wanted to be. At 41 you could say I was slow in recognising this - but some things can’t be rushed!

I’m fascinated by clothes. How they can make people look good, bad, fat, thin, older, younger, powerful, shy, sexy or demure and sometimes even invisible. Not in a Harry Potter cloak kind of way – but you know, in a blending in kind of way.

So, with my new found, must learn, profession in mind, I trawl the web for a seemingly good, reliable, suitable, legitimate Personal Stylist Course. Jeez! That was a mission in itself! It’s at this point that I noted that the style of a website is something that more people/companies should really pay more attention to. Anyway, I did find the right course with the right tutor and here I am.

Gail was kind enough to accommodate my request to pay for the course in two instalments and therefore said she would release the course in two parts. I would receive the Colour Analysis module first.

Now, I’ll be honest, I was, from the start, totally sceptical about Colour Analysis and was disappointed that I would have to start the course with it. I mean, who gets their colours done? It’s so 80’s (reference Colour Me Beautiful). Anyway, I thought, let’s get this section out of the way and then I can look forward to the good bits – scale, proportion, body shapes, wardrobe weeding, personal shopping etc.

A few days later my kit arrived. But, alas the time wasn’t right to open it. I needed space, quiet and the sofa to myself – I needed ‘me’ time! That time soon arrived a day later. Like preparing to open a selection box of chocolates, I get comfy on the sofa and open up the kit.

It’s filled with DVD’s; a printed manual; coloured drapes; material swatches; a colour wheel and an eye analyser. Wow. This is serious stuff!

Time to get started on the Colour Analysis. One of my first exercises was to understand the seasons. All of us are either a Winter, Summer, Autumn or a Spring. Each colour palette is exclusive to that season. My test is to sort 60 swatches of fabric into their correct seasons. I stare, completely overwhelmed by the task in front of me. All these swatches, to the untrained eye (mine) look so blooming similar! And I tell you what, even more similar when you can’t focus because your eyes are full of tears of frustration! I have failed at the first hurdle. This colour analysis, that I thought faddy and overrated, is actually surprisingly technical. I’m going to have to open my mind and take on board the complexities of colour and appreciate their worth.

I take a deep breath and start again. I practice over and over until I can (most of the time) differentiate between a Summer blue versus a Spring blue, and a Winter red versus an Autumn red and so on. Not an easy thing to learn but eventually your eyes do get clever in distinguishing the difference.

The next exercise in Colour Analysis is ‘draping’. This is where you use coloured drapes that are, as the name suggests, draped near the face of your willing ‘guinea pig’ model (boyfriend, mum, son, daughter, Tesco delivery man!) to determine which season best suits them.

Once you’ve got over the fact that it seems quite odd flicking material backwards and forwards from under your model’s chin – the actual art of holding and manoeuvring the drapes soon does become second nature.

During my practice draping sessions, I notice that some colours made my models look tired, puffy - ill even! In the right colours, they looked vital, bright and sometimes, younger!

I could see very clearly that people need to wear the colours that complement their skin tone, eye and natural hair colour. It really makes the world of difference. Every woman (and man) should get their colours done.

I’m eating humble pie. Colour Analysis is NOT 80’s, it’s NOW!

If I could just get onto the set of BBC Breakfast and get Sally Nugent and Louise Minchin into the right colours, that would make me very happy and my morning viewing a lot less frustrating!