… you make the rockin’ world go round!
Back in June, a friend of mine suggested that I write a
blog on how to dress if you are a fat bottomed girl. She has a fat bottom (she
said it, not me!), a wedding to go to in September and is having an outfit
crisis. So, thinking she can’t be the only lady out there having a booty induced
hissy fit, here are some tips on how to dress that derriere.
The body-shapes that are most likely to have an ample
bottom are the Pear, the Hourglass and the Round.
So, what shape are you?
The basic Pear shape
A basic Pear shape has these characteristics:
- Small on top with narrow shoulders
- More than likely a small bust
- Slim waist
- Larger hips, thighs and bottom
- Think J-Lo
Does this sound like you?
If so, here are some do’s and don’ts:
Show off your waist
And by that I don’t mean in
a cropped-top flesh bearing way (unless you’re under 25 and have a midriff as
buff as a buff-like thing), I mean in a silhouette kind of way. Choose styles that
emphasise your waist and put stylish, narrow belts to good use. It’s the
slimmest part of your body and so if you hide it under baggy tops, you will
actually make yourself look larger.
Pattern/Colour
Restrict bold patterns and
lighter colours to the top half only. Wearing them on your bottom half will
make it appear bigger.
Tops
The best thing we can do
for the Pear shape is to balance out the top and bottom half. So, wear capped,
fuller sleeves or shoulder pads (get that image of Sue Ellen out of your head
right now!) as these ‘tricks’ will add width to your top half giving you a more
balanced shape. The added bonus of shoulder pads for a Pear is that if you have
small, sloping shoulders, your handbag is more likely to stay on your shoulder!
Tops can be tucked in or you can choose semi fitted tops that finish at the
right length if you don’t do the tucking in thang!
Trousers
Avoid side pockets that
will gape creating the ‘frog mouth’ effect as this will add bulk where you
don’t need it. Same applies to back pockets with flaps – so avoid them too.
Wider legged trousers that
fall from the hip are very flattering for a Pear shape and can look extremely
elegant – just make sure they are as flat-fronted as possible. Wear them with heels and make like Katherine
Hepburn!
Skirts
Go for A line, full or
panelled skirts and as per the trouser rule, avoid side and back pockets.
Dresses
Dresses can be tricky depending
on the size difference between your top half and bottom half but there are some
great styles out there that incorporate a patterned top and/or capped sleeve that
are perfect for the Pear shape. Another great dress for you Pears is the 1950’s
style - a wedding disco and this dress go together like Rama-lama-lama-ka-dinga-da-dinga-dong!
Or maybe you’re an
Hourglass?
The basic Hourglass shape
- Shoulders and hips are
balanced
- Defined waist
- Curvy bottom
- And more than likely a
fuller bust
- Think Marilyn Monroe
Here are some do’s and
don’ts for dressing an Hourglass figure:
Show off your waist
As is the same for the Pear
shape, show off that waist at all times - if I had one, I most certainly would.
Pattern/Colour
You can wear pattern but go
easy with it – let your body shape speak for itself and avoid anything too
loud. Avoid vertical lines and geometric patterns over your curves – it will
get very confusing and you’ll end up looking like one of those magic eye
pictures.
Tops
As you have a balanced
figure, no need to ‘big up’ your shoulders as the Pears need to do but do choose
your necklines carefully so that you flatter your fuller bust. Remember to show
some skin and opt for a v, scoop, square neck or wrap top - wearing a high neck
top will make your boobs, and you in general, look bigger. Like the Pear you
can tuck tops in if you want to.
Trousers
The book I’m reading at the
moment is called ‘How to Be Chic &
Elegant’ which is written by a stylish French woman (aren’t they all
stylish?) called Marie-Anne Lecoeur, who says that those with an Hourglass
figure should ditch the trousers altogether and stick with skirts and dresses!
I’ll leave that decision to you but if you do enjoy wearing trousers opt for side
zipped or flat fronted ones and again, avoid the frog mouthed effect, and
pockets on the bum as mentioned earlier.
Skirts
Go for A line, panelled or
pencil skirts. The Hourglass will find it hard to find skirts (and trousers) that
fit well because they will more than likely fit on the bum but be too big on
the waist or fit on the waist and be too small on the bum. It’s not easy having
a sexy shape is it?! So, look for styles without a waistband and/or that sit
lower down on your hips. And avoid side pockets and bum pockets (I’ve said that
so many times now – use it as your mantra!).
Dresses
Just make sure you choose a
style that has shape at the waist and a lower neckline as per the guideline for
tops. Pop on some elegant heels and give it some Jessica Rabbit swagger - you
sexy thing you!
Oh, and one thing I must mention as it will save you a lot of faff and heartache - dieting will NOT change a Pear or Hourglass shape into anything other than a smaller Pear or Hourglass shape. If you’re a size 16 Pear who goes on a diet, the end result will be just a smaller size Pear. So, embrace the shape you are and wear clothes that flatter it – don’t fight it!
And finally the Round
The basic Round shape
- Plump
and rounded all over
- No
definite waist
- Perhaps
sloping shoulders
- Wide
bottom
- Think
Dawn French
There
are some very simple rules to follow for this shape and so I won’t break it
down into garments as such.
Pattern/Ccolour
- Dark
colours, as we all know they are more slimming – so always a good choice.
- Use
the ‘column of colour’ trick. This is where you have the same colour running up
through the middle of your outfit with a cardigan, or jacket of a different
colour, over the top. The eye will notice the narrow 'column of colour' which
will make you appear slimmer and draw the eye up towards the face. Perfect!
- Avoid
really tiny patterns as they will, in contrast, make you look larger.
Styles/details
- Clothes
need to skim not cling - but make sure you don’t go too voluminous.
- Empire
line tops (and dresses) are very flattering
- A good fitting shift dress is also great on a Round.
- Ensure
there’s some cleavage exposed – a sure-fire way to draw the attention away from
a tummy!
- If
you want to wear trousers, make sure they are flat fronted (no pleats) and that they
fall straight from the thighs.
- Opt
for A line or panelled skirts.
Accessories
- Wear
stunning necklaces and scarves to draw the eye towards the face.
- Make sure your accessories aren't too small, as again, they will make you appear larger.
So, there we go! Not an
exhaustive list of do’s and don’t’s because I have focussed on rules that lend
themselves to choosing a more formal outfit, but you should now be able to eliminate
some choices and combinations that you may have chosen before - which I hope
has helped.
I’ve created a Pinterest
board that's well worth a look at as it will
provide you with some inspiration or what those guys and gals over at Pinterest call, Pinspiration.
Go forth my fat bottomed, curvalicious
beauties and keep this rockin’ world going round!
M x
TMI moment….when I was about 11 or 12, before I hit
puberty, I was a scrawny little thing whose new, tight fit, pinstriped jeans
(they were very trendy I’ll have you know) didn’t fit on the bum as tightly as
I wanted them to. So, I came up with what I thought was a cunning plan to pad-out
my derriere. What did I do? I wore 3 pairs of knickers at once. Underneath the jeans darlings, underneath!
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